Would I want to grow up to be like them?

I remember a time when politically, I leaned very different from how I do today. I can’t remember exactly when things changed, but I do remember making mental shift sometime during college. I started to pay attention to people around me who I admired but who were ALSO on the opposite political spectrum from me.

I started asking myself this question: “would I want to grow up to be like that person?” When the answer was yes, I start paying very close attention to their opinions on politics, relationships, spirituality and intellect. In fact, I literally start taking notes in my phone when that person talked. You can page through the “notes” section on my iPhone and find random sentences that I’ve jotted down because something hits me like a brick, and I don’t want to forget it. Then I start reading the articles they post, and I listen to the videos they share, and the tweets they retweet. And it opens my eyes to see something maybe even slightly different than what I originally thought.

These aren’t often life-shattering moments where I suddenly became enlightened into a totally new way of thinking. But, I gain perspective – because I’m paying attention to people who I’m pulled toward emotionally.

One of those notes in my phone is from the movement started by Colin Kaepernick and his decision to silently protest during the national anthem. It was in response to a lot of conversations and emotional kicks toward one another in the heat of the moment. It says “I just hope we are reaching people and not ostracizing and further dividing.” Hit me like a brick moment – because that’s exactly what I was doing. I was responding to people with anger and being insulting. That wasn’t going to help me reach anyone. After he said that, my approach with people instantly changed. Reach versus divide.

This guy happens to be my brother-in-law and he happens to live across the country and I happen to have very little interaction with him. But, he’s a great freaking dad to his two kids and that’s the kind of person I want to be when I grow up. So I pay attention when he speaks up.