What do you think of when the word ‘first’ comes to mind? My instinctive thought is “firsts” of many things – first steps, first words, first kiss, first love, first job, first child. The commonality of these things is not just the word ‘first’ but often the emotion that comes along it. The newness; the nativity to it. The excitement, yet risk it takes to do anything for a first time. The learning that comes along; the success and failure.
With little to no time, if we’ve done something once, we approach the same situation with (even if it’s minuscule) more confidence. Now, in many situations we would say that this is a good thing – we become experts in areas through practice. But think about what life would look like if we approached certain scenarios with continued naivety. What would it do for your relationship if once a day you kissed your partner like it was the first time? What would it do for your curiosity if you walked through a forest like it was the first time you ever saw or smelled evergreens? What if we lit up when our child entered the room like it was the first time we laid eyes on them? What if when we eat, it’s as if we’ve never tasted food before?
What would this mindset do for our relationships, our spirituality, our productivity on earth? My guess is, we’d be overall better people. We’d be more kind, more patient, more empathetic and more grateful. I’m not suggesting that every moment of every day should be treated as if it’s a new experience (I would never drive if it was like the first time I got behind the wheel of a car). But instead, simply paid attention to what’s around us at a deeper and more curious level. I find children really easy to model after with this idea. And yes, I realize that children bounce from one thing to the next every 2 minutes, but bear with me. I once watched my 2 year old nephew play with a single blade of grass for 15 straight minutes. He felt it’s texture, he rubbed it on his face, he ran it along the sidewalk, he brought it close to his eyes and examined it, he talked about it and showed it to everyone near him. By the end of that 15 minutes, he knew everything there was to know about that single blade of grass. In comparison, I’ve been known to eat an entire pizza in 15 minutes with ease.
My point is, we’ve become super-speed humans who forget to stop, and literally smell the roses every once and awhile. And I think it’s hurting us, and hurting our relationships. So tonight, when you get home, kiss your partner for 6 seconds (yes, seriously, 6 seconds). Talk to your kids about the best and worst part of their day. Smell your dinner before you take a bite and watch the sunset with a sense of wonder.
Lindsey Arens, LPC 